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Epic Fail

CJM January 20, 2013 Dinner, Eating Paleo 1 Comment
Epic Fail

Sometimes you just have those days…or weeks really when everything seems like an epic fail. Getting into your car, shutting the door and realizing all too late, your head was in the way…Epic Fail.

Walking up the stairs like a supermodel trying to impress that hot bod watching you and tripping…going up- Epic Fail.

Going up for that awesome pose in yoga or that sweet dunk in basketball and missing…Epic Fail

So I can officially say these last couple of days have had a few Epic Fails for me.

First off, can we talk about the piece my car is. Not just like, oh wah wah you have an old car. No. Like I officially have a lemon but I am too stubborn to get a new one so I continue driving the crappy one so I have interesting stories to post on facebook in the mornings kind of car. For instance. Let me paint you a picture.

Wake up, get ready, go outside in the freezing cold to drive to work at 4:30 am. Scrape my windshield and get into my car and “shut” my door…only to have it pop back open. Umm, ok. So I try shutting it like ten more times, all with the same result. The latch officially won’t latch the door shut. So after a “tiny” temper tantrum-(imagine slamming the door closed over and over while yelling at the top of my lungs) I sit there, in the cold contemplating what the hell to do. See, I work like 2o minutes and two highways away. I have a client in 25 minutes that is going to be wondering where the hell I am. So, fine. The only thing I can do, is start driving, hold the door closed with my arm and hope that eventually the door will latch. Thankfully, I have pull-ups and push ups regularly in my workouts so I have some resemblance of strength in my upper body. So I grab across my body with my right arm and drive with my left one. Unfortunately as I am driving the cold air is coming into my car and my fingers are starting to go numb. At this point I am beginning to wonder if I will be able to continue holding this door so tight since I can’t feel if my fingers are actually holding on to the door.

At this point I have begun sweating from the physical exertion of holding my driver-side door closed as I drive 65 mph down the highway. Every time I take a slight turn the door pops open a bit more and my overhead light comes on with the familiar *Beep* and a flash on my dashboard- “Driver-side Door Ajar” Ummm, yeah…you think? Thanks for the news flash Taurus. Its not like I couldn’t already see that.

Alas. I managed to make it all the way to my job only a few minutes late. Luckily my ridiculous story helped give me an excuse on why I was so late. Lets just chalk this up to an Epic Taurus Fail.

Second Epic Fail of this week was my soup experience. Like I said in my last post, I have been craving some delicious hot soup to warm me up on these cold days. So, I went to the store one afternoon and decided I was going to try my hand (a second time) at some butternut squash soup. Um. Lets just say…Epic Fail. The pictures and the smell had all of the components of a great soup. But after I blended it up with my new immersion blender (thank you wedding presents) I could tell it wasn’t going to be good. For one it was watery as all get out and when I tried it the taste wasn’t much better. I can’t figure out what I did. It was horrid. So that went down the drain. Ugh. So frustrated. Anyways- here’s the recipe.

Thai Curry Butternut Squash Soup:

  • 1 large butternut squash (about 6 cups cubed)
  • 1 can (14 ounces) coconut milk.
  • 2 cups of chicken stock.
  • 2 carrots, peeled and chopped.
  • 2 heaping tbsp of red curry paste.
  • 1 small red onion, chopped.
  • 1″ piece of ginger, grated.
  • 6 cloves of garlic, chopped.
  1. Chop all ingredients and combine into crock pot. 
  2. Cook on low heat for 4 to 6 hours.
  3. Blend or puree when cooking is finished. An immersion blender is ideal for this. If you don’t have one, let your mix cool before transferring it to a blender or food processor.
  4. Garnish with anything from cinnamon and nutmeg, to curry powder, pumpkin seeds, and of course bacon.
That’s it, pretty simple. But somewhere in this something went wrong.  If you have any suggestions I would LOVE to hear them. Post them in the comments!
I will be making some other great things this week so stay tuned!
Stay Active, Stay Healthy, and Here’s to Some Classic Epic Fails

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1 Comment

  1. Eric Summers January 30, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    I think your problem is the crock pot. It does not get hot enough and traps the moisture that you want to evaporate off. I suggest starting with roasting the squash, carrots, and garlic (the garlic and carrots won’t need as much roasting time). Once roasted, transfer to the blender with the onions, ginger, and curry paste. Then move the emulsion to a large pot or dutch oven, add the coconut milk and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Add the chicken stock last in small portions allowing to reduce with each batch until you reach the desired consistency. You might not need the entire 2 cups, or you might actually need more.

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